Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
