i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
