i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
