O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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