I hate your face
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
