Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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