We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
