He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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