with your own penis?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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