I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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