dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
