I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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