the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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