is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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