I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm always down for nudity.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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