I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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