i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
