I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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