i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
