I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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