Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
