you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
