We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
