The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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