JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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