Whod you bang
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
