This is not my ceiling
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
