it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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