when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
