She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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