But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
