He kissed a someone with a penis
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
