I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
