proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
