She's JV to your varsity
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
