and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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