He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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