For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
