all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
