I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
