No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just gift wrapped bread.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
