Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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