I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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