Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
