who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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