I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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