Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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