people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
