in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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