I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
