remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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