i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
